


Happy Mother's Day (Plz ignore the mess in the corner)

by Celebrimbor1999



Series: Eve Baird, MD [4]
Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Accidental fire starting, Breaking and Entering, Cake, Day 6 Kids, Ezekiel sets fires, Gen, Kinda, Mama Eve Baird, Mother's Day, The Librarians really try okay, Unimpressed Eve Baird, Writer's Month 2019, but they fail, mama bird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 20:50:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20216089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celebrimbor1999/pseuds/Celebrimbor1999
Summary: Sometimes Eve forgot how young they were. Sometimes they would act so mature – so brave – that she’d forget just how old they were. But then they’d do something like this. And she’d wonder how she could see them as anything but kids.AKA a Mama!Baird fic for Writer’s Month 2019, Day 6: Kids. (Sorry it's late - I was sick -_-)





	Happy Mother's Day (Plz ignore the mess in the corner)

“Children. I work with children.” Eve sighed as she stared at the mess that was once her kitchen.

She didn’t know why they were _here._ Eve herself hadn’t been back to the house for anything more substantial than a change of clothes and extra ammunition since she’d become a Guardian. If it wasn’t for Jenkins telling her that the Back Door was set up for _her front door, _that the Librarians had left through it (or were kicked out) then Eve wouldn’t even have thought to _look _here.

But she had and wished desperately that she hadn’t. The kitchen looked like a baking bomb had hit it, flour and cocoa powder and all sorts of unmentionables spreading across the benches and walls, creeping into the empty living room space. There were more bowls and spoons and jugs than Eve had ever owned spread across the counters. A pile of eggshells sat to one side. Two different bags of flour (plain and self-raising) leaked down the cabinets. A recipe books – liberally covered in assorted substances – were sagging on the stove top.

And then there were the Librarians. Stone was covered in flour from head to toe, blending into the rest of the kitchen. Jones relatively clean, sitting on a stool that Eve distinctly remembered being in her hall cupboard, with two floury handprints on the front of his jacket (They looked like they belonged to Stone). Cassandra was the worst – her pulled back hair was almost white with flour, sugar crystals dusted her arms, chocolate batter splattered across her face and apron, more chocolate on her hands like she’d dipped them. As they all stared, _something _dripped from the ceiling. No one looked up.

Eve leant against the doorway. Behind her, Jenkins glowered. “Did you all falsify your birth certificates, or did the Library knowingly hire children?! Because you’re definitely not acting like adults! What even happened here?”

Noise. The kitchen burst into noise.

“We were just trying to do something nice—”

“Jenkins threw us out of the Annex because _someone—”_

“Hey, I’m innocent of all this—”

“I’ve never cooked before, so—”

“Since Jones is such a crappy cook that he set the _stove top _on fire—”

“I’m a master thief, why would I _ever _have to cook—”

“You don’t just leave shove a lighter—”

“That thing must have been _at least _a hundred years old—”

“And I said chocolate mud cake, but Jacob said cheesecake, so we decided to do both but—”

A shrill whistle. The Librarians shut up. Eve shot them all an unimpressed look. “Alright, one at a time. Jones, what did you set on fire?”

“The stove top,” He said sullenly, “But I still stand by the fact that the thing was ancient.”

Stone rounded on him. “It doesn’t matter how old a stove is, you don’t start it by shoving a lighter underneath it without checking the gas first!”

“Uh bup bup bup!” Eve held up a hand, “Stone, shut up. Jones, continue.”

“So I may have caused a _small _fire. But Jenkins dealt with it!” Jones exclaimed.

She turned to face the caretaker, “So that’s why you kicked them out of the Annex. I thought I smelt smoke.”

“Yes. Mr Jones thought it prudent to open all the gas taps all the way. I’m going to have to replace the stove _and _repaint that section of the kitchen.” He didn’t look too happy about it.

“Well Jones can help with that. Now,” She spoke over the Australian’s protests, “Cassandra, why are you all in my house in the first place?”

“Uh…” Cassandra looked hesitant, “Well, we’ve had a rough couple of days – weeks, really – and I thought, everyone likes cake, I mean, how can someone not like cake – and I said to Ezekiel, maybe we should make a cake for Colonel Baird, to say thank you for being such a great Guardian and making us first aid kits and saving us all the time, and he said why not, and then I asked Jacob even though Ezekiel said not to, and Jacob said he’d help because he didn’t want us to poison you, and…” Here she paused, blushing.

“Ezekiel accidentally set the kitchen on fire, and Jacob wouldn’t take us to his house to use his kitchen, and I don’t really have a kitchen, I have a sink and a bar fridge, and Ezekiel wouldn’t say where he lived either – and he said that he didn’t have a working kitchen anyway – so I thought we’d be able to use yours and clean up and get back to the Library before you’d finished with your errand, but the boys started fighting and then the flour exploded and then you were here and—Why are you here?”

“Because the Back Door was set to _my front door! _Because you _broke into my house_ and set off a _flour bomb_ in it! Because Jenkins kicked you out, apparently for _setting the stove on fire!!” _Eve took a deep breath in, let it out, and relaxed her hands. Cassandra, Jones and Stone were all looking at the floor, or the wall – anywhere but at her face. They looked a little like kids sent to the Principles’ office. Or being yelled at by their mother for tracking mud and leaves into the house. She squashed the thought.

“Alright. Please tell me that you didn’t just go roaming through my house?”

“No, I made sure we just stayed in the kitchen. And I only went into the hall cupboard to find a stool to stick Jones on, to keep him out of the way.” Stone’s voice was surprisingly quiet. He also didn’t look her in the eyes.

“Fine. I am going to the Library. I will be back at six, with dinner, and I expect the kitchen to be clean. Understand?”

“Yes Colonel.” Came the chorus.

Eve levelled a look at Jenkins, who hadn’t said a word. “Don’t you go looking too smug Jenkins. You let them set the Back Door to my house. I expect you to be here for dinner as well – I don’t give a damn if you don’t eat, you do tonight.”

“Yes Colonel.”

“Jones, tomorrow you will be helping Jenkins fix the Annex kitchen. After that, I will be teaching you how to use a gas stove. And Stone will be helping me.”

“But Colonel—”

“Baird, please –”

She held up a hand against their protests. “No. Jones, you are going to fix the stove and then you will learn how to use the stove, got it?”

“Got it.” Jones grumbled.

“And Stone, you’re an accomplice to all of this. Deal with the consequences. And don’t think I didn’t notice the scuff marks in my hallway. I don’t want an explanation; I want it fixed. Understand?”

“Yes, Colonel Baird.” Stone sighed.

“Good. I will see you all at six.” And then she stalked through the back door.

Jenkins followed her through with a barely there smirk.

“And what is so funny?” Eve turned on him. “I am _not _in the best of moods right now.”

“Colonel Baird, you may want to check a calendar before your date with the punching bag.”

On her way to the training room, Eve pulled out her phone. _Mother’s Day. _

_Mother’s Day. _

** _Mother’s Day. _ **

A couple of hours later, Jenkins found her. She was brutalising the punching bag, muttering under her breath between hits.

“—Just a coincidence…”

“… I’m not their mother, they can’t—”

“Stone is nearly the same age as me—”

“—Cassandra still has a mother—”

“—Jones I swear just popped into existence as a snarky little—”

She stopped for a moment; forehead pressed against the bag. “Oh my god, do they think of me as a mother figure? How the hell am I meant to be a mother?! They don’t teach you about this in the army! I can break all the bones in a person’s body while naming them, I can lead men, I can’t _raise_ them! Whyyyyyyyy…”

Back to beating up the poor defenceless punching bag.

Jenkins didn’t judge. He just put the water to the side and left her to her breakdown.

Later, when she looked up at him with damp eyes, he didn’t judge. He just slipped to the side with his camera, making sure to get the entire group (_family_) into the frame.

_Eve was just visible in the centre of a group hug. Cassandra clung tightly to her front, tucked under the Colonel’s chin. Stone had one armed wrapped around the two, and another around a protesting Jones, who didn’t bother trying to break the grip Eve had on his hand. In the corner, Thank You Baird could be seen, iced across the top of a chocolate cake. _

The cake tasted delicious. Jenkins kept a copy of the photo on his desk. Another copy was sent to Mr Carson. It was titled ‘Mother’s Day.’

**Author's Note:**

> My first thing that came to mind for this prompt was Diana in Justice League, when everyone was laughing and she just shook her head and went, ‘Children. I work with children.’ Thus this was born – I love myself some gratuitous Mama Baird ^U^. I know it’s closer to Father’s Day than Mother’s Day, but I couldn’t help myself. Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
